It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
