he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
