how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
third nipple confirmed
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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