the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
