I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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