he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
