I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
