u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
