yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
