I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
