he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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