I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
