All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
