those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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