it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i am craving dick and cupcakes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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