oh god the rape fog is back!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want nice things and good sex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
