we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
