you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
