I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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