dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
