**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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