I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
