why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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