she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
