Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
high people should be assigned attendants
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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