oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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