Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
