is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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