Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize