Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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