Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
