pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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