you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
