just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
