what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
