I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
