Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
