Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
