They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
His nipple licking is glorious
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
