Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
