Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
