can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
