I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
