how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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