Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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