I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize