yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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