we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
