yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
