my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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