who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
