I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
