Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
