I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm like, not good at living.
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