Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Randomize
