i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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