you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
