My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this will be a night to untag.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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