R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
