Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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