def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize