i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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