This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
