I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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