I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
